June 2012
20 posts
May 2012
9 posts
“I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think interior decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.”
—Anna Quindlen (via seventearstothesea)
“What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.”
—CARL SAGAN (via Advice to Writers)
“
A little boy… sent me a charming card with a little drawing. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.
— from Maurice Sendak’s 2011 interview with Terry Gross. [Fresh Air via @LettersOfNote]
” —I got this from Gawker. And I love it. I would eat it if I could. (via maureenjohnsonbooks)I’ve been so disconnected from everything lately and I need to find a way to plug back in.
First on the agenda? Finding the time to work my writing back into my daily routine. Now that we’re a one vehicle household I just can’t take off to the library or the park after work to write. Well, okay, I guess I could technically take off for the library after work but that would require schlepping myself and my gear across town to the library. On foot. We all know that’s not going to happen.
So I need a plan ‘B’. I’m all about the plan ‘B’. I believe plan B should include chocolate. And ice cream.
April 2012
18 posts
20 ways to survive in a horror movie. →
justnithya.tumblr.com
A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
- Seriously
- Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
- I don’t care how good he says his weed is
- he is cuckoo bananas
- and he wants you dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
- There are six words you should YouTube, should you get the chance
- “Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th”
4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.
- If the killer can’t see you or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
- Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.
5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.
- Someone will always be barefoot
- Or in heels
- Or just plain clumsy
- And will sprain their ankles
- And die.
6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.
- Don’t walk around looking for people
- House of Wax, anyone?
7. Don’t be a hero.
- Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, you will die.
- Hell, maybe even then.
- I mean.
8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.
- The killer is there.
- Also your dog is dead.
9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.
- The last thing you need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.
10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.
- Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck
11. Don’t go into the basement.
- They are creepy enough without you dying in one.
12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.
- At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.
13. Turn off the television (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.
- It is obviously your wisest choice.
- SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.
14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism.
- Move very very far away
- Because there’s blood on your walls.
- Blood.
- Your
- Walls
- Are
- Bleeding.
15. Don’t act like a detective.
- Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack you in a closet.
- If you live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
- But if you die, it is like the opposite of awesome.
16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.
- If more than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, you know not to go there.
- Issue. Solved.
17. Don’t get drunk. Or come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.
- Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.
18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.
- It is the killer.
- ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that you in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
- Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.
19. Don’t take a shower.
- ONLY APPLIES IF:
- It’s past midnight at the campground you and your sorority sisters are staying at or
- The lock to the door doesn’t work and you hear creepy piano music
AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:
20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.
- Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he
Text to 911 is coming
The FCC is in the midst of a Text-to-911 exhibition fair this week. I fully expect us to see this in the next few years:
“Every word journey is a Journey West. I am Lewis, and I am Clark. I am not the Donner Party” - Chuck Wendig”
—
“Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but I know that’s not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.”
—Robert Orben (via amandaonwriting)
March 2012
19 posts
Things I Would Do With A Half Billion Dollars...
Okay, it’s a pretty short list and most of the items on it involve chocolate but I’m still going to buy myself a ticket and wander through dreamland until someone else wins all that money!
On my list:
Quit my job (duh)
Pay off our bills (double duh)
Donate tons to some of my favorite charities
Help my family and my husby’s family - new cars, homes and chocolate for ALL THE PEOPLE!
Travel - where I can try chocolate from all over the world.
Read. A lot. With chocolate. A LOT of chocolate.
John Green's tumblr: How to Get Your Book Banned in Arizona →
fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
Dear Stupid Arizona Government - please go *bleep* yourself with the biggest *bleeping bleep* you can find!
Step 1: Write about people who aren’t white.
Step 2: THERE IS NO STEP TWO.
You will very rarely see me curse, tumblypoos, but…but…I mean, what the fuck? How is this even possible? This reads like an Onion article.
To be clear, it is now ILLEGAL to teach de la Pena’s novel (which I’ve read…
Doomsday Preppers - Really?
What.the.heck?
Let me say upfront, I’m all for being prepared. I live in Illinois and we’re now heading into spring - otherwise known as the first round of tornado season. So the husby and I make sure that we have our “holy crap there’s really a tornado coming” plans set. We’ve purchased an extra package of batteries for our flashlights (because we’re bound to lose power) and are looking into buying a weather radio (because we both sleep so soundly we’d likely sleep through the sirens if they sounded at night).
However, I’m not sitting around freaking out over the potential for a devastating tornado. Not because I think it can’t happen but because there’s a line where planning for survival in the event of a potential future disaster can come to eclipse actually LIVING your life in the present.
I suspect that the lady I’m watching has crossed that line. She doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, her friends, etc. because she spends every single minute preparing for the end of the world - she wants to be sure she survives. Okaaayyyy. I mean, sure, I’d like to survive too but I’m not willing to completely sacrifice my life in the currently passably awesome world for the chance to survive in a post-apocalyptic future.
Customer Service Stories You Won't Believe
Worth a look and a reminder that there are still moments of humanity out there!
Everyone has a long list of crappy customer service stories. But these will restore your faith in humanity. At least for tonight.
Read More: 11 of the Best Customer Service Stories Ever
Sometimes I envy athletes (not often, mind, because I’m fundamentally lazy) because they have a quantifiable way of knowing where they stand. If you’re running a race you know you’re good enough if you win or place in the top 5 (or, in my case, complete the race without dying). If you’re playing a game you know you’re good enough if you end up with the best score. It’s easy to see who’s the best but what about writing?
Sure, finishing a book is an accomplishment but what if it isn’t any good? What if you can’t get an agent or a publisher? Does that mean you’re not any good? Not necessarily. I’ve read some amazing books by seriously talented authors who were unable to secure publishing via the traditional routes. For them it had nothing to do with the level of awesome contained within their works but rather the ‘climate’ of the publishing world at the moment. Publishing is, after all, a business and if the powers that be don’t think your work will fly they won’t invest in it. No matter how talented you are.
So, what if you do land the agent and the agent lands you a publishing deal? Then are you ‘good’? Maybe but I think anyone who has read more than a couple of books knows that not every book that gets published is good. Bad books get printed all the time and some of them even become best sellers while wonderfully written novels stay on the shelves until they’re moved aside for something new.
I love to write but I also worry that I suck and there’s no real way to know if I suck. Which totally sucks for me.
So, if you’re a writer or other artisty type - how do you know when you’ve been successful? Or does success even matter?
The hubs is working late tonight so I’m going to be on my own until about 9:00 pm. This means some quality writing time for me. Here’s hoping the people at the library keep the crazy to a minimum tonight so I can actually get some work done.
Which reminds me - why doesn’t my town have a freaking STARBUCKS?
February 2012
8 posts
Exercise is Dangerous!
Or at least the intent to exercise is dangerous.
Just ask my poor, swollen pinky toe - injured by a rogue chair that jumped right out into my path as I was crossing the room to prepare for my work out. I believe this is the universe’s way of telling me to sit back down on the sofa and put my feet up. And who am I to argue with the universe?
